I am a Free Woman!

So I forgot to post yesterday. Kept meaning to and kept putting it off. So there's no need to keep posting every day...at least not for the "contest." Forget just one day, and it's all over.  See you next month? Maybe?

This Seems to be a Blog About...

Struggling to write blog posts.

Laziness?

Procrastination?

But not to the point that I write nothing at all, just to the point that I often wait till the last minute, and then I'm rushed. I'm always feeling like I'm rushed though. No matter what time of day I think I want to write, I'll have to be somewhere in a few minutes, or there is something else that "needs" to get done more than my writing needs to get done, and that thing is hanging on my back like Megumi draped over Ben's back in the horror film, "Shutter." (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Shutter_%282008_film%29) Sorry, I didn't just hotlink the word "Shutter" but I'm in the iPad Blogger app, and there does not seem to be a way to do that. 

That is also one of my favorite ways to describe depression, which another thing I struggle with in my life, when I want to write, exercise, eat healthy--doing all these things would help alleviate the depression, but the depression itself is what makes it so difficult to just DO it. I have to have a continual voice, like a little coach in my head, shouting at me to just get up and do "A." Sometimes it takes minutes, sometimes days, sometime months, sometimes it takes years of the coach trying, and me alternately supressing her "voice" before I take even a first step toward any type of positive action for my life.

Literally Phoning it In

Posting from my phone today. I've either been posting from my iPad or my phone the last several days. The benefit of the iPad is that it is currently attached to a keyboard so it's like using a small laptop. With the phone I use the Swype keyboard, so it feels faster, though I really have to keep an eye out for those pesky autocorrect typos.

We have another thing were doing tonight...and something tomorrow night as well, so I don't know if I'll be doing any long posts or any fiction any time soon. At least I'm still posting every day. Now with the Blogger app both on my phone and my iPad, it's kind of made easier...plus I have an alarm set on my phone to go off at 10:45 am to remind me to post. I'm not allowed to swipe it away until after I've posted. The nagging effect seems to be working.

I Want to Post But...

I need a nap right now. I'm afraid if I put it off till later, I'll be too tired then as well, so this is for now, and we'll see how I'm feeling later.

Groggy Day

Maybe it's the fighting the depression that's doing it. I wish I could have slept all day, but it gets too physically painful to lay in bed too much past 8 hours. Tummy is hurting. Why does my mouth crave things that my tummy can't cash? Okay, that was a bit of mixed metaphor, but you get it, right? It makes me not want to write. 

I exercised last Monday, and then did nothing in that area the rest of the week. For several days afterward, I felt like I needed to just sleep a lot. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I want get a work out in. I don't know exactly when I think it will be a good time to get my post in tomorrow. I think the longest I've kept up my daily blog writing for NaBloPoMo, was 19 days. Let's see if I can manage to break that record. I know so many before me have been able to do with with seeming ease. It's a struggle for me, and it's been a struggle for me lately to write. Yet, I still want to write. I don't know why. I mean, I don't know why the struggle. 

Long Day With Family

Got up way too early, went out to breakfast with hubby. Went to our mental health support class, took our daughter and her friend an hour south took a Homestuck meet-up, came home.

Day started around 6:20am and here it is 9:37pm. I want to go to bed though I predict a mild second around 10pm or so, leading to a 12am bedtime. We'll see...

Brain is Not Fully Engaged

I am having a hard time concentrating. It could be due to the giggling girls down the hall, since my daughter is having a sleepover. We will be going to a Homestuck cosplay meet-up tomorrow. No, I don't cosplay. If I did, it would be as River Song. Or maybe if just wear a piece of memorabilia from all of my favorite famdoms...Doctor Who, Sherlock, BSG TRS, Cat Woman...the list goes on...

I'm not going to try to write more...to much giggling.