I Do Not Resolve!

In 2011, I didn’t make any New Year’s Resolutions. I won’t make any Official resolutions for 2012 either. A few times during the year I said to myself, “I should start eating healthier...okay, starting tomorrow, I will make a plan and start eating healthier.” This would last about three days and then every day after that it would be, “Oh, well just for today I’ll eat what I want.” This same routine applies to exercising, though for me, it is easier to eat healthy than it is to get in extra exercise -since I’m already eating anyway, why not find something healthy rather than completely give in to my cravings. Oh, and don’t even start with offerings of reduced fat products—they do NOT taste the same! Same goes for sugar free products—at least the ones with sugar replacements. Not only do they not taste the same, they wreak havoc with my digestive system! How can it be healthier to use sucralose based sweeteners when they they make me writhe in pain and then run to the nearest toilet? And yet, here I see all these products with “Sugar Free!” on their labels. A closer look reveals, “Sweetened with (insert sucralose based sweetener here)!” They are so very proud. Why don’t they just say, “Sweetened with laxatives! Yay!”

Truly, in the back of my mind, for this year I am determined to get more serious about certain goals, but I am afraid if I speak them out loud,or write them out for public consumption it will somehow sully my progress. Back to the old Nike slogan, “Just do it.” So if anyone happens to notice I’m looking a bit more trim and healthier later this year, I don’t want to talk about it, or everything will be ruined! If people happen to notice I’m writing more and making more blog posts this year —shut up! Sure, comment on my individual posts—but that’s it! Yes, I am superstitious! I’m doing fine, then people start to notice. They want to be supportive. They comment. A few comments here and there, and it’ll be okay, but when people start to really make big effusive comments about how well my progress seems to be going, some THING snaps —in my head? In my body? My psyche? Was “psyche” already covered by “head?” When that “thing” (whatever it is...) snaps, everything falls apart. Progress comes to a standstill and it all goes backward. I don’t blame the well wishers, it’s just what happens. How can they possibly know? I think my mother must know though. That can be the only explanation for why I have never heard her compliment me on obviously large amounts of progress that I have made in certain areas of self improvement in the past. She must be superstitious too!