Monday, January 16, 2012

Write or Die Creations -- NaNoWriMo Vignette #5

This is yet another example of what happens when one uses the Write or Die program. I set it at 500 words to be completed in 15 minutes. Below are the results of my panicked writing. This did not make the cut for reading aloud during our NaNoWriMo TGIO party. This has only been edited for typos and the most basic readability.

He was embarrassed by the flap of his belly. Stewart Jones had recently lost a lot of weight and now he had the saggy flesh to show for it. No amount of sit ups were going to get rid of this floppy apron of flesh hanging across his pelvis. In jeans and an untucked shirt, no one could tell, but it wasn't like he wanted to get into a pair of trunks in public. It wold be kind of obvious then.  He couldn't afford the surgery to get rid of this hanging flesh and of course his insurance company wouldn't pay for it. It wasn't a necessary surgery. Just vanity. At least when I was fat, all this was filled out and I didn't look like some grotesque Dr. Moreau experiment of a man combined with a Sharpei puppy. On the other hand, I did kind of look like the Michelin Man, so I guess this weight loss was more of a parallel move. Stew was getting attention from the opposite sex. The good kind of attention, not the OMG--look at how huge that dude is--kind of attention. He didn't used to get that kind of attention in high school. More like the OMG...EWW kind. The only problem was that he wasn't able to go anywhere with dating. He couldn't have any more than a couple of dates before they became suspicious. There was no way he could let them see his flap. He tried telling young women he was deeply religious and didn't believe in sex before marriage. That worked until Lydia, the woman he was dating at the time, began to notice he never attended any church services, He tried to make up other stories like how he was horribly scarred, but she wanted to see. She told him it didn't matter because it wasn't his fault. She lifted his shirt and saw the flap.

"I don't understand, Stewart. First, you tell me you want to wait till we are married, then I find out that was a lie. Then you say you were horribly scarred in an accident, and I find out this is a lie. I don't care about this," Lydia flipped his flap, "but I do care that you lied to to me twice. I'm sorry, this isn't going to work."

"But Lydia, wait--don't you remember what House, M.D. said? 'Everybody lies!' I'm sorry! I thought you'd be repulsed by my flap,"

"I'm only repulsed by the lies, Stewart." Lydia walked away. The last Stewart heard, she had moved to Alaska to run a bar in a quirky town with a moose wandering around the streets.

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